Every parent I know wants nothing less than the best for their children. They want their children to be happy, healthy, and smart. While every child is different and unique, just as every parent is, there are some things you can do to help to insure your child is the happiest, healthiest, and smartest possible. Here is a list of the top ten parenting tips you can use to help insure your child's success in life:
Tip 1 - Command Respect, Don't Demand It. One of the foundations of a good relationship with other people is mutual respect. As a parent you should be commanding the respect of your children, through your actions and words, not demanding that they respect you. As your child learns to respect you in this manner, they will also learn to command respect from others, rather than trying to demand it.
Tip 2 - Maintain Healthy Relationships with Others. Whether it is your spouse or your own friends, it is important that you model good relationship behavior for your children. By having strong relationships with your spouse and your friends, you can show your children how to have strong and healthy relationships with you and the other people in their lives.
Tip 3 - Be a Role Model. Who do you want your children to emulate in their lives, a famous sports star or yourself? Parents should always want to be the number one role model for their children. You want to show them right from wrong, and do this through being a role model who they can emulate in their own lives. Show them how you live and how you do the right things in life even when you are challenged.
Tip 4 - Talk With Your Children, Not At Them. It can be easier to tell your child not to do something or how to behave. However, if you take the time to talk with your children about your expectations, and their expectations as well, you can have a healthy line of communication. This communication channel will grow over the years and you will find that your children will come to you with their issues they need help with. If you talk at your children, they will be less likely to come to you because they will fear a lecture and disapproval.
Tip 5 - Give Unconditional Love and Support. Children are still growing and learning. They will do things at times which you will not approve of, and may not even understand their thinking behind. By always supporting your child with unconditional love, even during the rough times, you can show your child that they will always have your love and support. While you may not approve of their actions, they know that you love them and that you simply do not love the action they took.
Tip 6 - Show Support Though Positive Reinforcement. Never use the words stupid, dumb or other negative words to describe your children. Never tell them they are, or make them feel, less-than. If your children are in school, they will hear enough negativity from the other children when adults are not present. Build them up through positive words at home, so that they will be able to deflect the negative words they hear when you are not with them.
Tip 7 - Eat Smart as a Family. Food habits start from a very young age; what you eat as a child has a lot to do with your eating habits later in life. Start your children off right by offering them whole and healthy foods. If they start eating healthy from a very young age, then they will likely continue to eat well throughout their lives. It is much easier to get children to eat healthy foods if that is the only thing they know.
Tip 8 - Play With Your Children - Often! Children learn though play. By playing with your children you are able to teach them, and they will believe they are just simply playing. Teaching through play is a wonderful way to keep your children both entertained and captive to the lessons you want to instill in them.
Tip 9 - Avoid The Bad Toys, Games and TV. While it may be easier to turn on the TV for your child and let them watch whatever they want this is not a good option. TV will constantly sell to your child through advertisements which are very well designed to make your children want certain toys and games. If you can avoid as many of the bad toys, games and TV itself, you are on the way to having much healthier and safer kids.
Tip 10 - Educate Your Children With Their Toys. By purchasing educational toys for your children you are enabling them to have fun and learn at the same time. One of the best places to purchase your educational toys is through www.mychildplayhouses.com
Hopefully these top ten tips of parenting will help you to raise your children to be happy, healthy, and smart adults while getting the most of their precious childhood years.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Prevent and Protect Children From Abductions
During recent years, the problem of child snatching or child abduction has attracted wide attention. It has been reported that every 40 seconds in the United States, a child becomes missing or is abducted. Unfortunately, it is not uncommon for a small child to be taken while momentarily unattended by the parent or guardian for illicit purposes. Child snatching often occurs in public places such as shopping malls, convenient stores, parks and supermarkets. A determined Child Predator will not only target public places, there are many reported child abductions that have occurred in the front or backyard of a family's home. A child left unattended for a few moments or wanders off from the parent or guardian, can quickly become the victim of such a crime.
After hearing the tragic stories about abducted or exploited children, most parents and guardians are surprised to learn many crimes committed against children can be prevented. Unfortunately the rising awareness of crimes committed against children has left many families with a real sense of fear. You and your child need to be careful and aware, but you do not need to be afraid. Talk to your child in a calm and reassuring manner, being careful not to discuss the frightening details of what might happen to a child who does not follow the safety guidelines. There are also very effective child protection devices on the market today that can be easily worn or carried by your child. These devices can allow monitoring by the parent or guardian and sound an alarm when a child has gone further than a desired distance.
Protecting children from abductions requires good communication, alertness and taking advantage of effective child protection products that are available in our marketplace. All of these efforts combined will allow you to fully enjoy your child's life with peace of mind and eliminate the fears of losing your child to abduction.
After hearing the tragic stories about abducted or exploited children, most parents and guardians are surprised to learn many crimes committed against children can be prevented. Unfortunately the rising awareness of crimes committed against children has left many families with a real sense of fear. You and your child need to be careful and aware, but you do not need to be afraid. Talk to your child in a calm and reassuring manner, being careful not to discuss the frightening details of what might happen to a child who does not follow the safety guidelines. There are also very effective child protection devices on the market today that can be easily worn or carried by your child. These devices can allow monitoring by the parent or guardian and sound an alarm when a child has gone further than a desired distance.
Protecting children from abductions requires good communication, alertness and taking advantage of effective child protection products that are available in our marketplace. All of these efforts combined will allow you to fully enjoy your child's life with peace of mind and eliminate the fears of losing your child to abduction.
5 Christian Parenting Tips To Help You Create A Loving And Peaceful Family Environment
Parenting is something that requires incredible skill and knowledge yet we are totally unprepared for it. If you've been finding parenting a little stressful at times, you are one of many all around the world! However, God has given us this wonderful responsibility and His Word makes it plain that He considers children a high priority.
Luke 18:16 'But Jesus called them (the parents) to Him, saying, Allow the little children to come to Me, and do not hinder them, for to such (as these) belongs the kingdom of God.' The Amplified Bible
So, we need to ensure that we are doing the best we can to raise our children in a loving environment which also trains them for successful living as a Christian. Parenting tips can be a helping hand in assisting you in successful parenting.
Christian Parenting Tip 1
You are the parent and your authority must always be clear.
The Bible makes it clear that children are to obey and honor their parents. Honor means 'high respect' (Oxford Dictionary). All children respect authority if it is shown in a way that also respects them. Learn to be authoritative in a way that makes sense to your child and without aggression. What does this look like?
- Firstly, mean what you say. It is very confusing for a child if you say one thing and do another. Before you speak, make sure you mean and are able to carry through with what you say. For example, if you say "Come inside now or there will be no TV' and the child doesn't come inside, don't switch on the TV to entice them in, and don't turn it on just because they are whining or having a tantrum. Let your 'yes be yes' and your 'no be no'.
- Listen to what you say; do you sound authoritative? Raising your voice doesn't mean you sound authoritative - it often means you've lost it! If you want to sound authoritative, lower your tone of voice, speak a little slower and emphasise important words. A low, emphasised voice carries much more authority than one which is raised and loud.
Christian Parenting Tip 2
Let them know your reason and the consequences
- make sure you know why you are requesting a certain behaviour (eg the house needs to be tidy for when you come home)
- explain once to the child (eg "When your toys are picked up we will go to the park")
- remind them of the consequence for disobedience (eg "If the toys aren't picked up by the time I count 10 we won't go to the park but will stay home")
- give them one more chance to obey and follow up with consequence for disobedience immediately if necessary.
- if they have obeyed, reinforce this behaviour with a statement (eg "Well done! You picked up the toys and now we will go to the park")
Don't fall into the trap of 'because I told you so'. Don't reason and argue - they will win because if you find yourself losing your calm tone of voice, or using unnecessary physical force, you've lost your authority and their respect. Try not to get emotionally involved in the situation - keep your voice loving but firm, be decisive in your actions of consequence, and be consistent.
Christian Parenting Tip 3
Keep the child accountable for their actions.
Children are quick to blame others. Keep the child accountable for their choices and actions. Use the words "You choose to __________ therefore you choose the consequence of ________". This teaches the child responsibility. It teaches them that there is a consequence to every choice they make. This is a central part of learning called self-discipline.
Christian Parenting Tip 4
Relationship with your child will be more powerful than any discipline.
The Bible says that God disciplines those He loves.
Revelation 3:19 'Those whom I dearly and tenderly love, I discipline and instruct them'
Children respond to disciplinary efforts more effectively if they are given out of a loving relationship. If you and your child have developed a mutually respectful and loving relationship, training will be much easier.
Christian Parenting Tip 5
God gave each of us free will - obedience doesn't come by force
You train a child to be obedient, usually by consequences to their choices and actions. You can't force a child to be obedient and keep their respect for you as a parent. Heavy-handedness may seemingly produce desired behaviour but underneath could be a seething bubble of frustration. Remember, God instructs parents, especially fathers, not to frustrate their children.
Colossians 3:21 'Fathers, do not provoke or irritate or fret your children (do not be hard on them or harass them) lest they become discouraged and sullen and morose and feel inferior and frustrated. (Do not break their spirit)' The Amplified Bible
God's Word talks about disciplining with the rod. This kind of discipline must also be done in a controlled and loving way, never through anger. If you are a firm believer in using 'the rod', ensure that your actions are done within a framework of procedures. Hitting out at a child is not Godly discipline; neither is grabbing hold of the wooden spoon and smacking a child with it. God doesn't discipline us with fear. He should be our role-model.
SUMMARY
Part of successful Christian parenting is raising your child to love God. As parents, you are the child's role model of Father God. Loving authority, like God's authority with us, teaches your child responsibility and self-discipline.
Carolyn Cutforth is a teacher with over twenty years experience, and a mother of three grown up girls, and three grand-daughters. Visit Carolyns blog HERE
Carolyns Blog
Luke 18:16 'But Jesus called them (the parents) to Him, saying, Allow the little children to come to Me, and do not hinder them, for to such (as these) belongs the kingdom of God.' The Amplified Bible
So, we need to ensure that we are doing the best we can to raise our children in a loving environment which also trains them for successful living as a Christian. Parenting tips can be a helping hand in assisting you in successful parenting.
Christian Parenting Tip 1
You are the parent and your authority must always be clear.
The Bible makes it clear that children are to obey and honor their parents. Honor means 'high respect' (Oxford Dictionary). All children respect authority if it is shown in a way that also respects them. Learn to be authoritative in a way that makes sense to your child and without aggression. What does this look like?
- Firstly, mean what you say. It is very confusing for a child if you say one thing and do another. Before you speak, make sure you mean and are able to carry through with what you say. For example, if you say "Come inside now or there will be no TV' and the child doesn't come inside, don't switch on the TV to entice them in, and don't turn it on just because they are whining or having a tantrum. Let your 'yes be yes' and your 'no be no'.
- Listen to what you say; do you sound authoritative? Raising your voice doesn't mean you sound authoritative - it often means you've lost it! If you want to sound authoritative, lower your tone of voice, speak a little slower and emphasise important words. A low, emphasised voice carries much more authority than one which is raised and loud.
Christian Parenting Tip 2
Let them know your reason and the consequences
- make sure you know why you are requesting a certain behaviour (eg the house needs to be tidy for when you come home)
- explain once to the child (eg "When your toys are picked up we will go to the park")
- remind them of the consequence for disobedience (eg "If the toys aren't picked up by the time I count 10 we won't go to the park but will stay home")
- give them one more chance to obey and follow up with consequence for disobedience immediately if necessary.
- if they have obeyed, reinforce this behaviour with a statement (eg "Well done! You picked up the toys and now we will go to the park")
Don't fall into the trap of 'because I told you so'. Don't reason and argue - they will win because if you find yourself losing your calm tone of voice, or using unnecessary physical force, you've lost your authority and their respect. Try not to get emotionally involved in the situation - keep your voice loving but firm, be decisive in your actions of consequence, and be consistent.
Christian Parenting Tip 3
Keep the child accountable for their actions.
Children are quick to blame others. Keep the child accountable for their choices and actions. Use the words "You choose to __________ therefore you choose the consequence of ________". This teaches the child responsibility. It teaches them that there is a consequence to every choice they make. This is a central part of learning called self-discipline.
Christian Parenting Tip 4
Relationship with your child will be more powerful than any discipline.
The Bible says that God disciplines those He loves.
Revelation 3:19 'Those whom I dearly and tenderly love, I discipline and instruct them'
Children respond to disciplinary efforts more effectively if they are given out of a loving relationship. If you and your child have developed a mutually respectful and loving relationship, training will be much easier.
Christian Parenting Tip 5
God gave each of us free will - obedience doesn't come by force
You train a child to be obedient, usually by consequences to their choices and actions. You can't force a child to be obedient and keep their respect for you as a parent. Heavy-handedness may seemingly produce desired behaviour but underneath could be a seething bubble of frustration. Remember, God instructs parents, especially fathers, not to frustrate their children.
Colossians 3:21 'Fathers, do not provoke or irritate or fret your children (do not be hard on them or harass them) lest they become discouraged and sullen and morose and feel inferior and frustrated. (Do not break their spirit)' The Amplified Bible
God's Word talks about disciplining with the rod. This kind of discipline must also be done in a controlled and loving way, never through anger. If you are a firm believer in using 'the rod', ensure that your actions are done within a framework of procedures. Hitting out at a child is not Godly discipline; neither is grabbing hold of the wooden spoon and smacking a child with it. God doesn't discipline us with fear. He should be our role-model.
SUMMARY
Part of successful Christian parenting is raising your child to love God. As parents, you are the child's role model of Father God. Loving authority, like God's authority with us, teaches your child responsibility and self-discipline.
Carolyn Cutforth is a teacher with over twenty years experience, and a mother of three grown up girls, and three grand-daughters. Visit Carolyns blog HERE
Carolyns Blog
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