Say No to Peer Pressure - Teen Decisions With Super Conclusions

Like a hunter hunts down his prey, so you would, if you could, hunt down negative peer pressure and keep it caged as far away from your teen as possible. And who wouldn't? Negative peer pressure rears its ugly head long before our kids are teens anyway. So the earlier we decapitate it, the better. The only problem, like a spider that can grow back a leg when it has been cut off, so is peer pressure. You can really never get rid of it. Equipping your teen with the tools to fight back always will go a long way in steering your child towards the right direction.

1. Imbue your teen with good principles and values by setting the example with your own life, first and foremost. Take the opportunity to point out what is acceptable behavior and attitude and what is not whenever possible. Your life should be an example that he should want to emulate.

2. Talk to your teen about good and bad peer pressure. It is important that your teen be able to differentiate between pressure that is positive and that which is negative.

3. Engage your teen in an exercise to establish and examine the activities he indulges in with his friends. Help him assess and determine what relationships are helpful and constructive and what he is better off without. Ask your teen to evaluate the influence his friends have on his life.

4. Teach your teen to stand his ground not only when the issues at hand are in black and white but when they are in gray. When he is not sure what is safe or not, what is acceptable or permissible, and when there is no time to inquire before a decision is taken, he is better off erring on the side of caution. Learning to say NO clearly is the ideal and when the request from friends should not be in any shape of form entertained, your teen should put his foot down firmly.

5. Encourage your teen to be truthful and fast thinking in his response when he would rather not participate in an activity. If for instance an assignment which he has not yet done is due the next day and yet his friends are attempting to pull him to a movie theater, he should be able to tell them that he would not concentrate and enjoy the movie knowing that he has this assignment waiting for him.

6. Give him the mandate to use his parents as his excuse if need be. Assuming for instance that he is being asked by a friend to drive another's car, he can let them know his parents would be really unhappy with him for doing that without their permission.

7. Urge him not to follow in the paths of others when instead he can go where no one has been, leaving behind him a trail. A teen with leadership qualities when properly guided is an asset not only for his family but a blessing to the community at large.

I once had this poster that had a picture of about a dozen chicks looking so fluffy, yellow, vulnerable and precious. With no mother hen in sight, each chick was facing a different direction and if it were ever possible to describe the expression on a chick's face, the apt words would be 'confused and lost.' The inscription on the poster? 'Following the crowd can lead nowhere.'

Ultimately, the best thing for your teen to know is that it is his prerogative to say NO. While this is difficult for teens to do because they want to be part of the crowd, it is the best way of ensuring that his friends do not come back another time with the same suggestion thinking it was merely inconvenient for your teen the first time they asked. When your teen makes his stance clear, his friends will know better than to present him with suggestions they know he will not take from them.

Awo Amorin currently working with children experienced firsthand during an exchange program where she met teens from all over the world, the challenges that face teens and their families and is always willing to lend a listening ear.

Marian Pobee is a pediatrician who has worked closely with teens, and was struck by the disconnect that occurs between parents and their teens. She is working to bridge the communication breakdown that occurs during the critical and formative teenage years.

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