Christian Dating Rules For Teenagers

Being parents of a 14-year-old teenage boy is difficult enough when they are becoming more and more independent and their body is changing and testosterone is increasing, but when dating comes into the picture, it's even more a challenge. As Christian parents in this fast-paced world and trying to raise our children in a godly way, setting strict dating rules and guidelines is, in my husband's and my opinion, detrimental. We needed to seriously pray about the idea.

The first question my husband and I asked each other was, "Is he too young emotionally and age-wise to be dating?" It took quite some time and many discussions later to come up with a solution to this dilemma. We had to really pray about the decision we made, because there was no turning back once we verbally agreed. So, we prayed hard.

Our son showed us his responsibilities in other ways like working a full-time job during the summer, doing his household chores without us asking, and accomplishing his school work with wonderful grades. So, we took all that into consideration, and we decided that emotionally he probably would be ready.

Age-wise was another consideration. Our son always acted older than his years ever since he was a baby. He wanted to do things that seemed too difficult for him to achieve, but he, most of the time, would prove us wrong. The problem was and still is he thinks he knows everything and we don't know anything! So, with that in mind, we had to approach the big question of dating rules with delicacy.

We allowed him to see this girl he was interested in, but with strict guidance. She was invited to our home anytime within reason, BUT they could never be alone together. Other rules that we had were there was to be no physical contact, except they could sit next to one another and maybe hold hands. Anything else was out of the question. Now, that may seem extreme to some parents, but in this world today, kids are taught by their peers that anything goes. So, dating rules can be quite challenging, in order to reverse that sort of thinking, unless you've done it all your children's lives.

Our son and his new girl friend agreed to our Christian dating rules. In fact, so did her parents. We felt an obligation to "inform" them of how we felt about this whole idea of dating, and much to our surprise, they agreed whole-heartedly to the rules. Our son's girl friend is a Christian, we believe, but we don't know if her parents are as well. Now, some day, when our son is old enough to get married, that'll be another topic to discuss! But, for now, dating is the first crisis in our teenage son's life. And we'll deal with one problem at a time!

Now, our advice for setting rules is just to sit down together with your son or daughter and just talk calmly about the situation. Don't get overly excited about the idea and jump to conclusions like I did as a mom. Pray about the idea together as a family and work out any problem areas that may arise. Don't ever assume anything and always be on the alert. Set strict rules and be consistent with them. But, most of all, don't choke the life out of your teenager while doing so, because if you're not willing to work things out together as a family to make everyone happy, your teenager will find a way to rebel. And that is not the way, in our opinion, to make for a peaceful, happy Christian home life.

Rachel G. LaChapelle is the website administrator for Baby Gear and also a stay-at-home mom for 14 years. Please visit her site for your one source for everything baby...at discount prices