I recently heard this story from an employee and just knew I needed to share it with you.
Recently at lunch with a group of coworkers, we focused our attention on one of our coworkers who was about to deliver her first baby. Light hearted conversation followed with some suggestions from some of us more seasoned parents. When asked what my advice might be as a parent of two young adults and a teenager, I found the question too daunting to come up with an answer.
I looked at the expectant mothers innocent face full of wonder and anticipation for this miraculous new season of life while 20+ years of parenting choices flashed in my mind nursing vs. baby formula, am I leaving my child vulnerable to disease if I don't immunize or am I subjecting them to risk by immunizing, how can I possibly balance all the demands on my time, is daycare a good thing or not, are we compromising too much by what our kids are exposed to riding the bus and going to public school, I know the movie is rated PG13 but todays PG13 is like yesterdays R rated movie, how can I give permission for my daughter's Brownie leader to drive her troop to Brownie outings when she has a known drinking problem, I know you want to sleep over at your friend's house but we don't feel that her dad is safe the choices got progressively harder as our children got older. I often felt the choices and scenarios were impossible.
Okay, so experienced parent that I am, what's my advice? What has been my fail-safe response? Believe it or not, I do have one that has NEVER failed me. Not even once.
My advice to parents is to grasp the incredible power available to them as they pray for their children. No one can speak into a child's life the way a parent can. God has anointed parents and given them authority over all of the challenges their children are facing.
This didn't make my parenting challenges go away but I'll tell you what it did do. First and foremost prayer for my children changed me. My awareness of how inadequate I was to make decisions on behalf of this individual who I loved more than my own life, drew me closer to God than any experience could have. I learned to trust Him and rely on Him. I began to experience His peace over my over-stimulated and conflicted mind. I learned his faithful nature as I watched him bring us through challenge after challenge. I personally and intimately experienced His provision, His protection, His promises and a stronger faith.
As parents, you and I are in the unique position to pray over every aspect of our children's lives.
Here's what has worked for me. As I move through the day, I pray over all the little caretaking tasks of parenting. I thank God for His provision as I wash my kid's clothes and ask Him to cover them with protection and guidance as they pull their hooded sweatshirts on. I thank God for the ability to care for my family and ask Him to bless their health as I make their meals. I pray for His peace over their beds as I put things away in their rooms. I pray for God's wisdom and discernment over their backpacks as I step over them walking in the door. I pray for self control and purity as I dust the Television and pick up their iPods. I pray for the blessing of godly relationships over their cell phones.
Powerful words of prayer will make parenting a joyful adventure full of inspiration!
That's what I'm going to say the next time I'm asked for seasoned parenting advice.
Mark Arens, motivational speaker and author of seven best selling children's books that are designed to help parents express love to their children while developing a foundation of self worth that leads to self respect. More-->>http://www.thepowerfulword.com/index.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
7 Ways To Earn Respect From Our Children
1. Discipline them:
Of course disciplining our children is a given in any home. But we need to ask ourselves if we are disciplining our children properly? Who rules the perch in your home? How often do your children tell you what THEY are going to do?
Did you know children want discipline and structure in their life? When we take the time to discipline our children, and on a consistent basis, we are actually helping them to develop their character? Correct discipline is a necessary part of the growth process and we shouldn't hold back on fulfilling our responsibilities as parents. The less we spend disciplining and counseling our children the less they will feel loved by us.
2. Be a good example:
Children and teenagers sometimes do dangerous and foolish things, and that is because they do not understand or THINK about the consequences. Young minds do not have the wisdom to discern properly about the real dangers of drugs, sex, etc. Just hanging out with the wrong crowd of kids can lead our children down a destructive path.
The proper correction a child receives must be consciously taught starting when they are very young, and this means we need to take our role as parents more seriously. We are to be the good example for our children to follow. We wouldn't want to give our responsibility to someone else, would we? Just as God trains and corrects us to make us better people, so too, must we as parents discipline our children to give them the wisdom and common sense to know from right and wrong. We are in control of our children's destiny. Let's show by example.
3. Teach them about God:
Parenting is never easy, especially when we actually put forth energy to do it. That is why God has given His guidance to help direct us along the way. God's guidance can become a father's spiritual authority.
A father should use that authority wisely. Firstly by protecting his sons, and especially daughters from outside influences. The whole purpose of parental discipline is to help children grow and learn to be honest, loving adults, is it not? One of the greatest responsibilities we have as parents is to teach our children the value of wisdom and spiritual truth. Where do you think wisdom comes from? Parents have wisdom and that wisdom can get passed on to children but in the end all wisdom and truth come from God.
[Fathers, do not exasperate your children, instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4]
4. Show them love:
How hard can it be to show our children how much we love them? Well we have to take the time to show love rather than buy love. More often than not, our busy schedules refrain us from spending quality time with our children, so what do we do? We buy them stuff. It's great that we want our children to have things but lets not let those things take the place of our love.
Schedule a convenient time, at least once a week, to spend the whole day with your child. You may not know this but our children do enjoy hanging out with us once in a while, especially when we treat them with respect and love. We do this by showing interest in their interests even if it seems wild or frivolous to us. We ought to try and be more understanding of their needs.
5. Tell them no:
Why are we so afraid to tell our children no? Did you know that most of the time when our children act out in dress, attitude, behavior, drugs, sex, they are actually calling out for love. That's all they want! Whose responsibility is it to give them the love they deserve? Children learn at a very young age that by using manipulative behaviors it will get us to pay more attention to them. And it works! But screaming and nagging doesn't. Ignoring them doesn't work either. Our children wish we would tell them no. All they want is our attention.
[Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will be a delight to your soul. Proverbs 29:17]
6. Submit to one another:
Everyone in the home should submit to each other out of mutual respect for one another. It is not just the wife who needs to submit to her husband but the husband to the wife, the mother to the children, dad to the children, and children to siblings and parents.
What's going to happen in a home where everyone succumbs to each other? There would be peace, tranquility, happiness, and satisfaction. This is what God wants for the family.
[But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness. James 3:17-18]
7. Be their friend:
First we have to be parents and then it is perfectly ok to be friends too. We want them to trust and confide in us, don't we? Yes, and that is why we need to know who are children are by getting involved in their life. We shouldn't ignore them, reject them, or discourage them in their endeavors. We need to put forth a little bit more effort to SHOW love to our children, and we will see that we'll get the respect we want and need.
Fathers do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged. Colossians 3:21
Angie Lewis is the author of "Love The Man You Married", a women's handbook for marriage that brings back the greatest design for marriage there ever was.
Angie reveals biblical secrets for the ideal marriage, from infidelity to forgivness, each chapter desribes in detail the divinly inspired answers for you to apply into your marriage. Love The Man You Married!
Angie also wrote Journey on the Roads Less Traveled, where she offers spiritual enlightenment tips for couples in marriage. She talks about love, life, marriage, children, addiction, temptation, and understanding the power of spiritual awareness for marriage.
Angie writes a monthly newsletter where she reveals her secrets on how YOU can stay happily married for life!
Subscribe to get your FREE monthly newsletter so you can learn to stay happily and forever married! http://www.heavenministries.com/
Of course disciplining our children is a given in any home. But we need to ask ourselves if we are disciplining our children properly? Who rules the perch in your home? How often do your children tell you what THEY are going to do?
Did you know children want discipline and structure in their life? When we take the time to discipline our children, and on a consistent basis, we are actually helping them to develop their character? Correct discipline is a necessary part of the growth process and we shouldn't hold back on fulfilling our responsibilities as parents. The less we spend disciplining and counseling our children the less they will feel loved by us.
2. Be a good example:
Children and teenagers sometimes do dangerous and foolish things, and that is because they do not understand or THINK about the consequences. Young minds do not have the wisdom to discern properly about the real dangers of drugs, sex, etc. Just hanging out with the wrong crowd of kids can lead our children down a destructive path.
The proper correction a child receives must be consciously taught starting when they are very young, and this means we need to take our role as parents more seriously. We are to be the good example for our children to follow. We wouldn't want to give our responsibility to someone else, would we? Just as God trains and corrects us to make us better people, so too, must we as parents discipline our children to give them the wisdom and common sense to know from right and wrong. We are in control of our children's destiny. Let's show by example.
3. Teach them about God:
Parenting is never easy, especially when we actually put forth energy to do it. That is why God has given His guidance to help direct us along the way. God's guidance can become a father's spiritual authority.
A father should use that authority wisely. Firstly by protecting his sons, and especially daughters from outside influences. The whole purpose of parental discipline is to help children grow and learn to be honest, loving adults, is it not? One of the greatest responsibilities we have as parents is to teach our children the value of wisdom and spiritual truth. Where do you think wisdom comes from? Parents have wisdom and that wisdom can get passed on to children but in the end all wisdom and truth come from God.
[Fathers, do not exasperate your children, instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4]
4. Show them love:
How hard can it be to show our children how much we love them? Well we have to take the time to show love rather than buy love. More often than not, our busy schedules refrain us from spending quality time with our children, so what do we do? We buy them stuff. It's great that we want our children to have things but lets not let those things take the place of our love.
Schedule a convenient time, at least once a week, to spend the whole day with your child. You may not know this but our children do enjoy hanging out with us once in a while, especially when we treat them with respect and love. We do this by showing interest in their interests even if it seems wild or frivolous to us. We ought to try and be more understanding of their needs.
5. Tell them no:
Why are we so afraid to tell our children no? Did you know that most of the time when our children act out in dress, attitude, behavior, drugs, sex, they are actually calling out for love. That's all they want! Whose responsibility is it to give them the love they deserve? Children learn at a very young age that by using manipulative behaviors it will get us to pay more attention to them. And it works! But screaming and nagging doesn't. Ignoring them doesn't work either. Our children wish we would tell them no. All they want is our attention.
[Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will be a delight to your soul. Proverbs 29:17]
6. Submit to one another:
Everyone in the home should submit to each other out of mutual respect for one another. It is not just the wife who needs to submit to her husband but the husband to the wife, the mother to the children, dad to the children, and children to siblings and parents.
What's going to happen in a home where everyone succumbs to each other? There would be peace, tranquility, happiness, and satisfaction. This is what God wants for the family.
[But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness. James 3:17-18]
7. Be their friend:
First we have to be parents and then it is perfectly ok to be friends too. We want them to trust and confide in us, don't we? Yes, and that is why we need to know who are children are by getting involved in their life. We shouldn't ignore them, reject them, or discourage them in their endeavors. We need to put forth a little bit more effort to SHOW love to our children, and we will see that we'll get the respect we want and need.
Fathers do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged. Colossians 3:21
Angie Lewis is the author of "Love The Man You Married", a women's handbook for marriage that brings back the greatest design for marriage there ever was.
Angie reveals biblical secrets for the ideal marriage, from infidelity to forgivness, each chapter desribes in detail the divinly inspired answers for you to apply into your marriage. Love The Man You Married!
Angie also wrote Journey on the Roads Less Traveled, where she offers spiritual enlightenment tips for couples in marriage. She talks about love, life, marriage, children, addiction, temptation, and understanding the power of spiritual awareness for marriage.
Angie writes a monthly newsletter where she reveals her secrets on how YOU can stay happily married for life!
Subscribe to get your FREE monthly newsletter so you can learn to stay happily and forever married! http://www.heavenministries.com/
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Raising Twins - Top 5 Survival Tips
Having twins is super exciting! The excitement fades very quickly however after the sleepless nights, crying (oh the crying), fighting with your spouse, and never being able to meet all the demands on you. The following 5 tips should help make raising twins a little less crazy.
Tip One: Get help! Don't be a martyr - you'll suffer and so will your twins. Friends, family, mother-in-law, neighborhood kids, mother's helpers, nanny - whoever you can get - line them all up to help you. Of course, everyone will want to see the babies and help with the babies. They can - for a minute - but then put them to work making meals, doing laundry (oh the laundry), and cleaning the house. This will allow you the time to bond with and enjoy your twins.
Tip Two: Do not turn on the TV. This may sound like a strange tip - it's not. The reality is that watching TV will waste away your precious time, keep you up late, and throw the twins' schedules off. You'll sit there exhausted right through the commercials and wait until another dumb show is over. Before you know it, it's 11:00PM, you're exhausted and ready for bed, but guess what - it's feeding time! Instead, watch videos. With videos, you have control. You can pause and start again without the fear of missing something. Watch short comedies that last only 1/2 an hour. Laughter is key during the first year, otherwise you'll go nuts. "Whose Line is it Anyway" clips are fantastic for this, but watch whatever makes you laugh.
Tip Three: Domestic chores - Delegate! Get your groceries delivered, or have someone else do the shopping. You want to hand off as many domestic responsibilities as you can so you can spend time with your twins. If it's in the budget, hire a maid service to come in and clean the house. This takes a huge load off you. If money's tight, you can always do it once per month, or every other month. It's just nice to have someone else clean the toilets and dig out the ground-in Cheerios from the carpets.
Tip Four: Take time for you. Get out of the house. Get a massage. Take a bath. Take naps. See friends. You'll need to schedule this time - it won't come naturally as your job is never done for the day - or night! Work with your spouse to coordinate "time-off" and take advantage of any help you can get to take the breaks you'll need.
Tip Five: Routine. You can't wing this. Develop routines and patterns. Get up, feed them, get dressed, feed them, change them, feed them, nap them, feed them - you get the idea. They'll adapt quickly to routines and your days will become smoother.
As a side note, there WILL be times when you don't think you can go on - this is normal. There WILL be times when you want to run screaming bloody murder - this is normal. You can and WILL get through this.
-Ted Olson
Founder, BusyTwins.com
Parenting Tips and Advice for Raising Twins
Tip One: Get help! Don't be a martyr - you'll suffer and so will your twins. Friends, family, mother-in-law, neighborhood kids, mother's helpers, nanny - whoever you can get - line them all up to help you. Of course, everyone will want to see the babies and help with the babies. They can - for a minute - but then put them to work making meals, doing laundry (oh the laundry), and cleaning the house. This will allow you the time to bond with and enjoy your twins.
Tip Two: Do not turn on the TV. This may sound like a strange tip - it's not. The reality is that watching TV will waste away your precious time, keep you up late, and throw the twins' schedules off. You'll sit there exhausted right through the commercials and wait until another dumb show is over. Before you know it, it's 11:00PM, you're exhausted and ready for bed, but guess what - it's feeding time! Instead, watch videos. With videos, you have control. You can pause and start again without the fear of missing something. Watch short comedies that last only 1/2 an hour. Laughter is key during the first year, otherwise you'll go nuts. "Whose Line is it Anyway" clips are fantastic for this, but watch whatever makes you laugh.
Tip Three: Domestic chores - Delegate! Get your groceries delivered, or have someone else do the shopping. You want to hand off as many domestic responsibilities as you can so you can spend time with your twins. If it's in the budget, hire a maid service to come in and clean the house. This takes a huge load off you. If money's tight, you can always do it once per month, or every other month. It's just nice to have someone else clean the toilets and dig out the ground-in Cheerios from the carpets.
Tip Four: Take time for you. Get out of the house. Get a massage. Take a bath. Take naps. See friends. You'll need to schedule this time - it won't come naturally as your job is never done for the day - or night! Work with your spouse to coordinate "time-off" and take advantage of any help you can get to take the breaks you'll need.
Tip Five: Routine. You can't wing this. Develop routines and patterns. Get up, feed them, get dressed, feed them, change them, feed them, nap them, feed them - you get the idea. They'll adapt quickly to routines and your days will become smoother.
As a side note, there WILL be times when you don't think you can go on - this is normal. There WILL be times when you want to run screaming bloody murder - this is normal. You can and WILL get through this.
-Ted Olson
Founder, BusyTwins.com
Parenting Tips and Advice for Raising Twins
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
